Make Back to School a Breeze
Getting a new school year off to a good start can influence children’s attitude, confidence, and performance both socially and academically. The transition from August to September can be difficult for both children and parents. Even children who are eager to return to class must adjust to the greater levels of activity, structure, and, for some, pressures associated with school life.
The degree of adjustment depends on the child, but parents can help their children (and the rest of the family) manage the increased pace of life by planning ahead, being realistic, and maintaining a positive attitude. Here are a few suggestions to help ease the transition and promote a successful school experience.
Before School Starts
Good physical and mental health. Be sure your child is in good
physical and mental health. Schedule doctor and dental checkups
early. Discuss any concerns you have over your child’s emotional
or psychological development with your pediatrician. Your doctor
can help determine if your concerns are normal, age-appropriate
issues or require further assessment. Your child will benefit if
you can identify and begin addressing a potential issue before
school starts. Schools appreciate the efforts of parents to
remedy problems as soon as they are recognized.
Review all of the
information.
Review the material sent by the school as soon as it arrives.
These packets include important information about your child’s
teacher, room number, school supply requirements, sign ups for
after-school sports and activities, school calendar dates, bus
transportation, health and emergency forms, and volunteer
opportunities.
Mark your calendar.
Make a note of important dates, especially back-to-school
nights. This is especially important if you have children in
more than one school and need to juggle obligations. Arrange for
a babysitter now, if necessary.
Make copies.
Make copies of all your child’s health and
emergency information for reference. Health forms are typically
good for more than a year and can be used again for camps,
extracurricular activities, and the following school year.
Buy school supplies early.
Try to get the supplies as early as possible and fill the
backpacks a week or two before school starts. Older children can
help do this, but make sure they use a checklist that you can
review. Some teachers require specific supplies, so save
receipts for items that you may need to return later.
Re-establish the bedtime
and mealtime routines.
Plan to re-establish the bedtime and mealtime routines
(especially breakfast) at least 1 week before school starts.
Prepare your child for this change by talking with your child
about the benefits of school routines in terms of not becoming
over tired or overwhelmed by school work and activities. Include
pre-bedtime reading and household chores if these were suspended
during the summer.
Turn off the TV.
Encourage your child to play quiet games, do puzzles, flash
cards, color, or read as early morning activities instead of
watching television. This will help ease your child into the
learning process and school routine. If possible, maintain this
practice throughout the school year. Television is distracting
for many children, and your child will arrive at school better
prepared to learn each morning if he or she has engaged in less
passive activities.
Visit school with your
child.
If your child is young or in a new school, visit the school with
your child. Meeting the teacher, locating their classroom,
locker, lunchroom, etc., will help ease pre-school anxieties and
also allow your child to ask questions about the new
environment. Call ahead to make sure the teachers will be
available to introduce themselves to your child.
Minimize clothes shopping
woes.
Buy only the essentials. Summer clothes are usually fine during
the early fall, but be sure to have at least one pair of sturdy
shoes. Check with your school to confirm dress code guidelines.
Common concerns include extremely short skirts and shorts, low
rise pants, bare midriffs, spaghetti strap or halter tops,
exposed undergarments, and clothing that have antisocial
messages.
Designate and clear a place
to do homework.
Older children should have the option of studying in their room
or a quiet area of the house. Younger children usually need an
area set aside in the family room or kitchen to facilitate adult
monitoring, supervision, and encouragement.
Select a spot to keep
backpacks and lunch boxes.
Designate a spot for your children to place their school
belongings as well as a place to put important notices and
information sent home for you to see. Explain that emptying
their backpack each evening is part of their responsibility,
even for young children.
Freeze a few easy dinners. It will be much easier on you if you have dinner prepared so that meal preparation will not add to household tensions during the first week of school.
THE FIRST WEEK
Clear your own
schedule.
To the extent possible, postpone business trips, volunteer
meetings, and extra projects. You want to be free to help your
child acclimate to the school routine and overcome the confusion
or anxiety that many children experience at the start of a new
school year.
Make lunches the night
before school.
Older children should help or make their own. Give them the
option to buy lunch in school if they prefer and finances
permit.
Set alarm clocks.
Have school-age children set their own alarm clocks to get up in
the morning. Praise them for prompt response to morning
schedules and bus pickups.
Leave plenty of extra time.
Make sure your child has plenty of time to get up, eat
breakfast, and get to school. For very young children taking the
bus, pin to their shirt or backpack an index card with pertinent
information, including their teacher’s name and bus number, as
well as your daytime contact information.
After school.
Review with your child what to do if he or she gets home after
school and you are not there. Be very specific, particularly
with young children. Put a note card in their backpack with the
name(s) and number(s) of a neighbor who is home during the day
as well as a number where you can be reached. If you have not
already done so, have your child meet neighbor contacts to
reaffirm the backup support personally.
Review your child’s
schoolbooks.
Talk about what your child will be learning
during the year. Share your enthusiasm for the subjects and your
confidence in your child’s ability to master the content.
Reinforce the natural progression of the learning process that
occurs over the school year. Learning skills take time and
repetition. Encourage your child to be patient, attentive, and
positive.
Send a brief note to your
child’s teacher.
Let the teachers know that you are interested in
getting regular feedback on how and what your child is doing in
school. Be sure to attend back-to-school night and introduce
yourself to the teachers. Find out how they like to communicate
with parents (e.g., through notes, e-mail, or phone calls).
Convey a sincere desire to be a partner with your children’s
teachers to enhance their learning experience.
Familiarize yourself with
the other school professionals.
Make an effort to find out who it is in the school or district
who can be a resource for you and your child. Learn their roles
and how best to access their help if you need them. This can
include the principal and front office personnel; school
psychologist, counselor, and social worker; the reading
specialist, speech therapist, and school nurse; and the
after-school activities coordinator.
OVERCOMING ANXIETY
Let your children know you care.
If your child is anxious about school, send personal notes in
the lunch box or book bag. Reinforce the ability to cope.
Children absorb their parent’s anxiety, so model optimism and
confidence for your child. Let your child know that it is
natural to be a little nervous anytime you start something new
but that your child will be just fine once he or she becomes
familiar with classmates, the teacher, and school routine.
Do not overreact.
If the first few days are a little rough, try not to over react.
Young children in particular may experience separation anxiety
or shyness initially but teachers are trained to help them
adjust. If you drop them off, try not to linger. Reassure them
that you love them, will think of them during the day, and will
be back.
Remain calm and positive.
Acknowledge anxiety over a bad experience the previous year.
Children who had a difficult time academically or socially or
were teased or bullied may be more fearful or reluctant to
return to school. If you have not yet done so, share your
child’s concern with the school and confirm that the problem has
been addressed. Reassure your child that the problem will not
occur again in the new school year, and that you and the school
are working together to prevent further issues.
Reinforce your child’s
ability to cope.
Give your child a few strategies to manage a difficult situation
on his or her own. But encourage your child to tell you or the
teacher if the problem persists. Maintain open lines of
communication with the school.
Arrange play dates.
Try to arrange get-togethers with some of your
child’s classmates before school starts and during the first
weeks of schools to help your child re-establish positive social
relationships with peers.
Plan to volunteer in the
classroom.
If possible, plan to volunteer in the classroom at least
periodically throughout the year. Doing so helps your child
understand that school and family life are linked and that you
care about the learning experience. Being in the classroom is
also a good way to develop a relationship with your child’s
teachers and classmates, and to get firsthand exposure to the
classroom environment and routine. Most teachers welcome
occasional parent help, even if you cannot volunteer regularly.
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
Go for quality, not quantity.
Your child will benefit most from one or two activities that are
fun, reinforce social development, and teach new skills. Too
much scheduled time can be stressful, especially for young
children, and may make it harder to concentrate on schoolwork.
When evaluating extracurricular activities, consider your family
schedule and personal energy level. Multiple activities per
child may be too much to manage, particularly if the activities
have overlapping times, disparate locations, require your
attendance, or disrupt the dinner hour.
Select activities where you have someone with whom you can carpool. Even if you are available to drive most days, you will need backup sometimes. Choosing activities that occur on-site after school will also minimize driving.
Find out from the school or teacher which days will be heavy homework or test study days and schedule extracurricular activities accordingly.
If your child does not want to participate in regular, organized extracurricular activities, you may want to consider other options to help build interests and social skills. For example, check out the local library for monthly reading programs, find out if your local recreation or community center offers drop-in activities, or talk to other parents and schedule regular play dates with their children.
WHEN PROBLEMS ARISE
These recommendations can contribute to a positive and
productive school experience for most children. Some children
may exhibit more extreme opposition to or fear of school or may
be coping with more specific learning or psychological
difficulties.
If your child demonstrates problems that seem extreme in nature or go on for an extended period, you may want to contact the school to set up an appointment to meet with your child’s teachers and school psychologist. They may be able to offer direct or indirect support that will help identify and reduce the presenting problem. They may also suggest other resources within the school and the community to help you address the situation.
While children can display a variety of behaviors, it is generally wise not to over-interpret those behaviors. More often than not, time and a few intervention strategies will remedy the problem. Most children are wonderfully resilient and, with your support and encouragement, will thrive throughout their school experience.
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